Lesson 3 conflict managing

Words to master:

denial – відмова

to solve – вирішувати, знаходити вихід

verbal – словесний, усний

behaviour – поведінка, спосіб дії

to resolve – вирішувати, приймати рішення

to interfere – вмішуватися, перетинатися

awareness – поінформованість

index finger – вказівний палець

to wag – махати, качати

to exhibit – показувати, виставляти

response – відповідь, відгук

to grasp – схвачувати, контролювати

Translate the sentences using the words from the list:

1. The index finger is next to the thumb.

2. They issued official denials.

3. Success is gained by resolving on winning.

4. In all cultures we know, men exhibit an aesthetic sense.

5. No matter how Bob tried, he could not understand irrational behaviour.

6. You mustn't allow them to interfere with your business.

7. Bind them fast to their chairs that they shall not wag.

8. That student has got remarkable grasp of the subject

9. I’m afraid we cannot help you to solve a question.

10. He did it by verbal order from Sir W. Coventry.

Read and translate the text:

Conflict management

Part I.

Conflict is a problem between two or more people. There are three styles of conflict:

1. Denial — you pretend there is no problem.

2. Confrontation — you fight with the other.

3. Problem solving — you talk together about the prob­lem and together find a way to solve it that is good for both of you.

Conflict happens when one or more people can't agree on something. It happens because we all think differently and have different opinions.

Conflict management

In order to manage conflict successfully, people must un­derstand their own feelings about conflict. Triggers are any verbal or nonverbal behaviour that result in anger or other emotional reactions. Such anger can lead to a conflict or can make a conflict harder to resolve. Triggers are like lightning bolts. When they strike, they interfere with the communica­tion between people. Triggers cause disputants to focus on the annoying behaviour instead of on the problem they are trying to solve. An awareness of triggers means that we know what types of behaviour cause anger in ourselves and others.

Part II.

Everyone has triggers. For example, some people do not like to have an index finger waved in their face by someone who is criticising them. The wagging finger trig­gers the person's anger, and then he or she cannot con­centrate on the underlying problem! Triggering someone's anger usually makes a problem more difficult to solve.

In order to be able to resolve conflicts in our own lives, we need to understand and recognise the things that make other people angry. Once we are conscious of our own trig­gers, we can understand when another person exhibits a type of behaviour that makes us angry. We can also assume that many of the things that make us angry will have the same effect on other people. To avoid pulling others' triggers, we have to pay particular attention to our own behaviour.

Once we see and understand our own triggers, we can take control of our responses. Once we grasp the underlying causes of anger, we can develop the patience and skill to be effective conflict managers. Often, it is helpful to see the problem from another person's perspective. Standing in the shoes of another person can help us discover new ideas for resolution.

Find English equivalents to the following word combinations:

1. Вдавати, що проблеми немає

2. Шляхи вирішення проблеми

3. Різні точки зору

4. Відмінно управляти конфліктом

5. Невербальна поведінка

6. Удари блискавки

7. Спілкування з людьми

8. Поведінка, що дратує

9. Махати вказівним пальцем

10. Бути здатним вирішити конфлікт

11. Знати власні тригери

12. Основні причини злості

13. Бути на місці іншого

Make up word combinations:

fight with behaviour

agree on attention

to manage ideas

verbal behaviour

harder to resolve

lightning the other

annoying something

awareness of triggers

index bolts

difficult to of behaviour

pay finger

type conflict

discover solve

True or false:

1. Conflict is a problem between people.

2. Conflict happens when one or more people disagree on something.

3. People don’t need to un­derstand their own feelings about conflict in order to manage conflict successfully.

4. Triggers are what we say and do when we are angry.

5. An awareness of triggers means that we can determine types of behaviour.

6. Once we are conscious of our own trig­gers, we can understand a type of behaviour that makes us angry.

7. To avoid pulling others' triggers, we have to pay no attention to our own behaviour.

8. Once we see and understand our own triggers, we no more can take control of our responses.

9. Understanding another person can help us discover new ideas for resolution.

Questions for discussion:

What conflict style is the most typical for you?

What are the main triggers of your own?

What behaviour makes you feel angry?

How do you usually solve conflicts?

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