- •Table of Contents
- •Author’s Note
- •Preface to the Original Edition
- •Preface to the Current Edition
- •Acknowledgements
- •Acknowledgements for the Digital Edition
- •Introduction The Deadly Misinformation
- •Isaac Asimov
- •Fairies at the Foot of the Garden Come out, come out! Come out upon the hill! Up there, down there— Fairies—everywhere!
- •"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things: Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax— Of cabbages—and kings— And why the sea is boiling hot"
- •Into the Air, Junior Birdmen! The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
- •The Giggling Guru: a Matter of Levity
- •Chariots in Flames The Paper Seven eighths of everything is unseen
- •The Laurel and Hardy of Psi
- •The Great Fliess Fleece There is a time in the tides of men, Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success. On the other hand, don't count on it.
- •The Medical Humbugs To follow foolish precedents, and wink With both our eyes, is easier than to think.
- •Homo vult decipi; decipiatur. "Man wishes to be deceived; deceive him."
- •The Will to Believe Man's capacity for self-delusion is infinite.
- •Off the Deep End
- •It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.
- •Gods with Feats of Clay
- •Put Up or Shut Up Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced.
- •Epilogue
- •Appendix
- •Winners for 1980 were:
- •Winners for 1981 were:
- •Selected Bibliography
- •Periodicals
- •The One Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge
- •About the Author
- •About the jref
Epilogue
The tumbrels now stand empty but ready for another trip to the square. Candidates seem to be in endless supply. As for my readers, of whatever opinion they may be, my writing of this book was dictated by a feeling that I had to tell what is here revealed. I believe every word of it to be true and you have read what I believe to be adequate proof. Parapsychology is a farce and a delusion, along with other claims of wonders and powers that assail us every day of our lives. Knowing what I do, and holding the opinions that I do, has not made this world any the less exciting and wonderful and challenging for me, nor should it for you. On the contrary, to know that you are an individual not put here for some mysterious reason by some supernatural means, and that you are not protected by unknown powers or beings; to know that you are a product of millions of experiments in the evolutionary process and not the result of a seed thrown on this planet by extraterrestrials—that, to me, is very exciting. I am a responsible member of a race that reached out into space and walked on the moon, folks! In a small way I also walked there, and so did you. And I'm thrilled about it!
Throw away the Tarot deck and ignore the astrology column. They are products offered you by charlatans who think you are not the marvelous, capable, independent being you are.
Nonsense has reigned too long as Emperor of the Mind. Take a good look. The Emperor has no clothes!
Appendix
Hollywood has the Oscar, television performers their Emmy, and the recording industry the Grammy. I felt that it was only fair to create a suitable award for the billion-dollar business that has earned its fair share of the world's income. Parapsychology is the respectable front of the fortune-tellers, gypsies, quacks, pseudoscientists, and charlatans who labor to produce miracles and hide behind this foggiest of all philosophies. Therefore 1 present my personal annual award, known as the Uri (in honor of a former "psychic" superstar whom you may remember) and given in four categories on the first of April each year.
The categories are:
1. To the Scientist who says or does the silliest thing relating to parapsychology in the preceding twelve months. 2. To the Funding Organization that supports the most useless parapsychological study during the year. 3. To the Media outlet that reports as fact the most outrageous paranormal claim. 4. To the "Psychic" performer who fools the greatest number of people with the least effort in that twelve-month period. Such periodicals as Fate magazine do not qualify for category 3, since it is conceivable that their editors actually believe what they print and so cannot be held responsible. However, Fate may come in for honorable mention as a result of a particularly imaginative conception.
The trophy consists of a stainless-steel spoon bent in a pleasing curve (paranormally, of course) and supported by a base of plastic. Please note that the base is flimsy and quite transparent.
I am personally responsible for the nomination of the candidates. The sealed envelopes are read by me, while blindfolded, at the official announcement ceremony on April 1. Any baseless claims are rationalized in approved parapsychological fashion, and the results will be published immediately without being checked in any way.
Winners are notified telepathically and are allowed to predict their victory in advance.
It is about time that parapsychology is recognized for what it is. The Uri Award is a step in this direction.
Winners for 1979 were:
Professor William Tiller, of Stanford University, who said that, even though the evidence for psychic events was very shaky and originated with persons of doubtful credibility, it should be taken seriously because there is so much of it.
The McDonnell Foundation, who gave $500,000 to Washington University, St. Louis, to study spoon-bending children.
Prentice-Hall and American International Pictures, for The Amityville Horror, labeled "A True Story.
Philip Jordan, who was hired by Tioga County (New York) Public Defender R. L. Miller to assist in choosing jurors by viewing their "auras."